5. Noah nailed how ridiculous the media circus around Ben Carson has become — particularly how Carson himself defends his stories and still thinks they prove he'd be a great President. "The presidential frontrunner feels like the media is out to condemn him as a non-violent, amateur archeologist.... This is weird for me. The media is saying, ‘Those rumors about you having a clean record and being an upstanding member of society, those things are true,' and Ben Carson's like, ‘Bullshit! I'm dangerous! And I try to kill people! I'm a bad person! I should be President!'"
4. In response to Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson's story of attempting to stab a relative when he was a teenager, which is now drawing skepticism, Noah saw a connection between Carson's supposedly troubled past and his career as an accomplished neurosurgeon. "This is why we need guns: Carson could have killed all of those people if only he had a gun. But he wasted his time with a little knife. What a great moral to his story: ran around with a knife, stabbed a kid, and said, ‘I'm enjoying this. I should find a job where I get to cut people open all the time.'"
3. Noah defended Carson's claims that the Egyptian pyramids were giant storage units for grain (rather than royal tombs, as most of us are taught in school). "We don't know for sure. It's not like the Egyptians wrote anything down, they just covered the pyramid walls with emojis."
2. Carson claims that the media had never before subjected a president candidate to such extreme investigations about his past, but Noah pointed out how reporters questioned Barack Obama's drug use, his religion, his ties to radical political activists, and even his own citizenship. "They vetted Obama to the point where they questioned that he was a legitimate, natural-born American citizen, but at least nobody accused Obama of not stabbing a guy. He got off easy!"
1. Noah suggested that maybe the media is too hard on Ben Carson, and that maybe he's not lying — he just suffers from a bad memory. "I'm starting to wonder if Ben Carson or anything he said is actually true, or maybe it's the way he remembered it. ‘Did I say I separated conjoined twins? I meant to say I separated a conjoined Twix.'"