Fantasy Football aficionados Madison and Peter are back, and this week they debate what the correct scoring format should be.
Peter: After one week of fantasy football, this much is clear: Point Per Reception fantasy leagues are trash ideas invented by garbage people who wanted to make themselves feel better for drafting inefficient Wide Receivers.
Madison: Points Per Reception leagues are for more skilled fantasy football players. The extra variable just adds to the difficulty of an already challenging game. I can understand how that would frustrate someone with a lower intellect, but it is vastly superior to a non-PPR format. It was created to reward players whose catches might not occur in the end zone but still bring a tremendous amount of value to their team. For example a player who catches six passes for first downs per game is just as valuable as one who catches one fade route for a TD.
Peter: How many points do you get in a game for a first down? Go ahead I'll wait. The answer is zero because the only stat that matters is touchdowns.
Madison: You're being willfully ignorant. Your opinion is dogmatic, and frankly, makes you seem like a person I would love to play fantasy football against because you seem to fear change. You probably drafted Mike Wallace as a rookie and held on to him for three years too long.
Peter: Yeah well you probably are an idiot. Points per reception are participation trophies for doing the bare minimum at your job. Every time Matt Forte catches a two-yard dump-off and gets a point, a bald eagle dies. In America we only reward those plays if they happen to occur on a part of the field that is deemed more important than the rest. Real estate in Alaska isn't worth the same as Miami Beach. Does your boss give you a raise when you show up for work even though you're hungover? Do running backs get "points per handoff?"
Madison: Totally different.
Madison: Ok I'm not exactly sure how, but it just is. I could go out there on Sunday and receive at least one handoff. I couldn't catch a pass.
Peter: I'm sorry that you're un-athletic, but getting a point per reception has ruined every league I've ever been in. If you're going by PPR then Darren Sproles and Wes Welker are the two greatest football players to ever put on a helmet.
Madison: Sounds like you're just bad at drafting football players.
Peter: I want each point to mean something. When scores are 150-149, each point becomes less valuable.
Madison: So in other words, you'd rather have five dollars than one million dollars so that you can appropriately appreciate the quality of each individual dollar.
Peter: If everyone else in the world only has 50 cents, sure.
Madison: Ok, so this is about greed. Got it.
Peter: The bottom line is this: fantasy football is best experienced without the training wheels/bumpers/golf cart governors of Points Per Reception and I will stand by that statement until my dying breath.
Madison: Ok fine, you win.
Peter: I select Mike Wallace.
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